How to say “I Love You.”

There are many synonyms for love such as affection, attraction, infatuation etc. but only “love” means LOVE, if that makes any sense. The Arabic language has words for different facets and intensities of love which the English language is lacking. The following are some kinds/ facets of love that I wish we had a separate word for.

They don't all mean the same thing.

“I love you family member.”

“I love you boyfriend/ girlfriend.” vs. “I love you husband/ wife.”

“I love you friendly acquaintance.” vs. “I love you best friend.”

“I love you inanimate object.” – It annoys me when people say they love an inanimate object like a nice pair of shoes or a car, but I’ll admit I’m a hypocrite because I constantly say how much I love food. I remember how little kids in kindergarten would say, “Well why don’t you marry it?” when someone would express love for a thing. It’s funny how little kids understand that the idea of loving an object is ludicrous yet we perpetuate that notion almost daily. Consumerism…*sigh*

“I love you animal.”- Our society worships pets. I do appreciate having a certain respect for animals but when Fluffy is dining on Fancy Feast and the homeless man is digging through the trash for his next meal, it makes me stop and wonder whether our priorities are in the right place. Regardless, most pet owners, including myself, would argue that animals take up a big chunk of our hearts (and our wallets =P ) and therefore deserve their own category of love. I agree.

“I love you but I don’t like you right now.” – This is mostly necessary during arguments. I think it’s important to remind people that as much as we love them, we just don’t feel particularly fond of them at the moment. That doesn’t mean we love them any less.

“I love you even though you don’t love me the way I want you to.”- Unrequited love: the heart of every great poem and song ever created. It’s a sad situation to be in but it hurts so good.

“I love you but not really.”- You don’t even know why you say it anymore. Maybe it’s just out of reflex. Maybe it’s because you don’t want to have to deal with the other person’s negativity as a consequence. The words are just as empty as your heart.

“I love you but I don’t know how much.” – You care about the other person in some way. It’s more than just “liking”, but is there potential for something more? Was it already something more and has it faded away?  Confused? I hear ya.

“I love you but I’m not in love with you.” – They’re wonderful: good-looking, funny, smart, kind, but… something is missing. This is sort of that gray area of emotion between best friend and “I fucking love you!” where you remain so close and yet so far. The sad thing is, I think most people who feel this way really wish they could feel…more for the other person, but they just don’t.

“I’m sorry.” – Sometimes, I think “I love you.” is just an apology in disguise. You want to say “I care about you enough to feel empathy and regret for hurting you.”

“I love you even though I shouldn’t” – This one deserves subcategories. It is used for the people who we care deeply about even though we know we shouldn’t for one reason or another.

1. In the words of Three Days Grace, “I know what’s best for me, but I want you instead.” Sometimes we love people who treat us like shit. You know you should hate them but your heart is a masochistic idiot.
2. Sometimes the timing is off and/or there are reasons why loving this person would end in disaster for the both of you. Maybe one isn’t in a position to give the other one what they need or being in a relationship with this person would cause a lot of collateral damage. Either way, this is a sad, frustrating situation that can lead to heartache or worse…regret.

“I love f***ing you.” – Basically, you care about the other person enough to touch your genitals to their genitals. Used for friends with benefits, booty calls and f*** buddies. May also be used for cuddle buddies and one night stands if the situation permits.

“I f***ing love you!” – For the kind of love you see in the movies. The kind of love that makes you run through airport security just so you can tell them how you feel or wait outside their window blaring their favorite song on a giant boom box held over your head. This is the Holy Grail, the crème de la crème, the cheesy, over-the-top, wildfire, Valentine monstrosity we all make fun of yet secretly strive for and long for.

Sunshine

So I haven’t written anything in the past 3 weeks because a lot of end-of-the-year events were happening along with finals which I had to study for. However, I made it through and now it is summer vacation!!

Honestly, I was really sad packing up my things because I realized half of my college experience is officially over…*sigh*. With every stuffed Aflac duck, birthday streamer, short film DVD, and event flier that I packed/organized/ threw away, my heart grew heavier as I reminisced about all I had accomplished and experienced this year.

However, I am not one to dwell on negative emotions so I would like to offer you a poem in honor of the wonderful summer season. I actually wrote this poem last summer for someone special who was away for a military deployment. It’s a short, simple poem about childlike innocence and love.

You're sweet =)

Sunshine

By Muriel Palanca

Hello there my friend. Please give me a smile.

I want to be your sunshine if only for awhile

And if a smile you cannot give, please save a place for me.

I’ll plant a seed inside your heart and let it grow into a tree.

Into the bark we’ll carve our names and hand in hand we’ll rest in peace.

Beneath the shade I’ll make a crown with the sticks and dewy leaves.

We’ll make our happy ending true before the winter comes to take

The warmth of sunlight in your eyes and the promise that we make

To never lose our childlike faith, to fight the battle though unsure,

To love each other for all time, and to always reach for more.

But if your love you cannot give, then for me please save a place

So I can warm your heart again and leave a smile upon your face.

I hope to have some awesome adventures this summer and I hope you do as well! Stay tuned

One Million Dollars vs. Magical Bunny

One Million Dollars vs. Magical Bunny?

If I had to choose one, which one would I choose?

I was sitting in class on Friday and the guest speaker was fairly boring so my mind started to wander off. I stared off into the empty space in front of my desk and found myself wishing there was something soft and adorable sitting in front of me.

Magical Bunny =)

I imagined a purple genie floating down from the heavens with one million dollars in one hand and a magical bunny in the other. He told me I had one day to try out each one without any residual consequences, meaning I could play with the bunny or spend the money but after 24 hours, everything would revert back to the way it was. After 24 hours I had to pick one. So in this fantasy scenario of mine I say “Yes! I accept!”.

My first inkling is to play with the bunny for a day and then choose the one million dollars…because that’s the smart thing to do and that’s what I am supposed to do. But upon deeper analysis, I find it isn’t that simple.

So let’s start with the obvious. If I had one million dollars, I would be pretty set for a good part of my life. I started planning what I would do with my imaginary million. First, I would help my parents pay off their debts and give them financial security. Personally, I’m one of those people who need to keep busy so I’ll use the money as a safety net and give myself the opportunity to pursue things of personal interest as opposed to working a crappy job to survive. Then I’ll get a solar powered car and a normal sized place to live. For the most part, the money will buy me time…time to do things I want to do.

So that is the logical, knee- jerk reaction most people have: take the million dollars. But then I started to really think about why I would pick the magical bunny.

In my fantasy, this magical bunny will be my lifelong friend, as in he won’t die until I die. He will be about two feet tall but he can change size to fit into my pocket. He will contain all of human intelligence up until the present and talk to me, so it’s a bit like having Google built in. He will NOT have the ability to create money, jewels, gold or anything of that nature, so he can’t magically create a million dollars. Most of all, he will be fluffy and adorable.

Half of me started questioning “Am I really considering choosing the magical bunny?” And my other half said “Mmmm…yeah.”

But why? Well…one million dollars is A LOT of money and can make a huge difference in anyone’s life if used properly. However, money changes its value and can be printed to the point of worthlessness. And though it’s cliché, money can’t buy everything…such as a magical bunny =)

I mean, how many times have you seen a magical bunny? A REAL magical bunny?! Never? Yeah…thought so. I know…I know you are probably thinking, “Well a magic bunny does sound pretty cool but what are you going to do with it?” I guess one has to think a bit outside the box to understand the full scope of a magical bunny’s awesomeness.

It is a SMART magic bunny. He can use his magical brain powers of intelligence to direct me in money making endeavors such as which stocks to invest in but that’s not very creative. We could become a famous act in Las Vegas that people go to see. Instead of a magician pulling a bunny out of a hat, the bunny will pull me out =)

I could talk to the bunny for hours about the mysteries of the universe and we could contemplate the possibilities of other intelligent life forms. I could cuddle with the magical bunny at night and he can softly whisper stories to me like an audio book before I sleep. He can wake me up in the morning with twitchy nose kisses and he can use his ears to tell me what the weather is going to be like outside. And if it was cold, he would wrap himself around my neck to keep me warm while using his little paws to massage me. We would complete each others sentences!!

I think it would also be awesome if he perched on my shoulder like a parrot and made humorous comments at people as they walked by. There are many possibilities.

When it comes to the one million dollars vs. magical bunny predicament, I guess it depends on what kind of person you are and what you consider valuable. Personally, I like the idea of a permanent furry companion and having a furry companion that could verbally communicate with me would be even more ridiculously awesome. I mean, how many pet lovers out there wish their pets could talk back to them?

Oh well…I guess it doesn’t really matter because the probability of being offered a magical bunny is quite minute.

But wouldn’t it be so cool…

The Jesus Brand: A Look at How Jesus is Used for Profit

Whether or not I’m religious is of no importance to this entry. I am merely making an observation based on things I have learned and things I have seen. I find it…interesting that religion is (and may have always been) profitable. Now, I will be fair and speak for myself because this certainly does not encompass all religions (there are so many religions and thousands of Christian subcategories).

I was raised to be Roman Catholic. I went to church every Sunday and I attended a Catholic school for early elementary and middle education. I memorized my prayers, took communion and was confirmed. That is all I will say for now about my religious upbringing.

There is a store near my house that sells religious merchandise such as bibles, CD’s, jewelry etc. and I went into it a few weeks ago, but I forgot the reason why. Anyways, I was browsing through the various wares when I stumbled upon a Jesus Toothbrush. One more time:

A Jesus Toothbrush.

So your pearly whites can be as white as the Pearly Gates =)

My first thought was “Really?…like REALLY? A TOOTHBRUSH?!!!” You can stick the name of Jesus in your grimy mouth every morning, noon and night? Now, I may be in the wrong here, but isn’t that taking it just a little too far? Apparently not, because you can also buy:

• A Jesus bobble head (He nods at you as you scream profanities at the car that cut you off)
•  A Jesus tin of scripture mints (When your breath smells like hell.)
•  A Grow-Your-Own Jesus (Put it in water and he grows)
• Oh and of course….a Jesus THONG! (No Jesus collection would be complete without a Jesus thong.)

And that’s just the crazy stuff. Upon a more thorough search I learned you can also buy Jesus mugs, Jesus candles, Jesus T-shirts, Jesus bumper stickers, Jesus books (that aren’t the bible), Jesus CD’s (also known as Christian Bands. They also have Christian Rap and Rock), Jesus pet collars, Jesus clocks, Jesus boxers, Jesus sunglasses (I’ve heard heaven is pretty bright), Jesus scarves, Jesus magnets, Jesus key chains, Jesus hats…*breathing heavily from exhaustion*

…Jesus blankets, Jesus towels, Jesus socks, food with a likeness of Jesus burnt onto it, Jesus candy bars, Jesus posters, Jesus spoons, and all of the merchandise I just mentioned, but with a parody of Jesus instead. All of this stuff can be found with a quick search on Google if you don’t believe me.

Jesus has become a commodity used to brand and sell merchandise. Isn’t that a bit sad, to say the least? A figure of someone’s faith can be worn around your dog’s furry little neck, or even worse…your crotch. Is it just me, or does that strike you as wrong, if not hypocritical? Doesn’t the Bible say something about living humbly and abandoning earthly possessions?

And who are the people who buy all of this useless Jesus merchandise? I have a hunch it is probably the same people who put money into the basket that is passed around every Sunday.

Where does that money go anyway? I’ll give you a hint: The Pope has a wardrobe full of robes, hats, accessories and jewelry that aren’t cheap. Oh, and Jesus doesn’t multiply a $20 bill many times over the way he did with the bread and fish in order to finance hush money for little boys who were touched by priests.

The Jesus BRAND is going strong and will continue to do so as long as there is consumerism and religion. I think capitalists should marvel at how Christianity has morphed into one of the most profitable businesses ever created. Think about that.

If for some reason anything I have said offends you, those who have not put money in a basket at church and are not wearing any Jesus merchandise may cast the first stone. I don’t mean to anger anyone. It’s quite humorous actually, but kinda sad when you think about it. And if you’re a capitalist, it’s brilliant. Remember, Logic is not your enemy.

Finally…“Matthew 19:24 Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” I don’t think piling on Jesus merchandise will help you fit through that hole any easier.

On the bright side, maybe Jesus will comment on how stylish your “WWJD?” T-shirt is as you walk through the Pearly Gates…if you can make it there.

Free Education and The College Scam

A friend suggested I take a look at this article entitled “12 Dozen Places to Educate Yourself Online for Free” I suggest you stop reading and click on it now. It’s ok if you don’t come back; It’s quite interesting and if I didn’t have so much willpower, I would spend hours learning sign language and business law instead of studying for my marketing exam.

One of the things I love to do is learning, mostly learning things that actually interest me. It absolutely astounds me how much FREE knowledge is out there for the taking. I am lucky enough to have wonderful parents who are helping me pay for college, but I know of many students who will have thousands of dollars in student’s loans when they get out.

Basically, they go to college… to get a job… to pay for college. Read that again.

And when they get out of college, they aren’t even guaranteed to get a job. So students pay $80,000 or more for someone to hand them a piece of nice paper that officially says they are a qualified individual.

How much do you want to bet that 70% of what I am learning in my college classes (I’m being modest with that guesstimate) can be found online for FREE? I would easily bet you the $20,000 I spend for a year. And if you consider that most of college is SELF-TAUGHT, what exactly am I paying for?

• Freshly manicured lawns
• A new sign for the football stadium
• A hefty Christmas Bonus given to the Board of Trustees
• Officers who wait for students to jaywalk so they can be ticketed
• Oh, and a Diploma that says I’m awesome! (but not really)

To be fair though, the two things I really like about being on a college campus are 1. The ability to be a part of student-run organizations which gives me the opportunity to learn things I wouldn’t normally learn inside a classroom and 2. Being around many different people all the time.

Aside from that, I think college has become one of the biggest legal scams. The prestige of a college education is perpetuated by parents, relatives, teachers, potential employers and eventually, the students themselves.

A diploma is like money in a way: A piece of paper that everyone believes is worth something but is really just a piece of paper. Though our U.S currency is supposed to represent an amount of gold, it is actually worthless because of inflation. There are so many people with degrees now that it is no longer a guarantee for a job. Now let’s take this a step further:

Wouldn’t you rather have the actual gold (i.e education) as opposed to the paper money (i.e diploma) that represents the gold? Why do I have to pay someone $80.000 for something that tells other people I am a knowledgeable, hardworking person?

The ridiculousness of a college education has only recently been made apparent because of

• The recession and lack of jobs
• The rising cost of a college education which has been rising disproportionately faster than income or inflation
• The massive growth of the internet in the past 10 years and the amount of information available for FREE

I can go on and on, but I feel that I have spent enough time talking about something that probably won’t change any time soon. Don’t get me wrong, I am so blessed to have wonderful parents who help me pay for college, but for every student like me, there are thousands, if not millions of students who cannot afford to go to college, or who will spend years paying it off.

For those of you in that predicament, we are a new generation on the brink of a technological explosion that will change how the world communicates, educates and operates. Let us hope we will be smart enough to teach our children that it is not about WHERE you learn but WHAT you learn.

With that said, I will go online and learn how to say “I am an educated individual with an expensive diploma” in sign language…for free

This is why “The World is Flat”

I am feeling pensive this evening. I’m thinking about where my life is going and what I am going to do after college. The great thing about being in college is that even though it can be stressful, I still have hope that everything I’m doing will help me make something of myself.

I’ve been working on my online portfolio and in my search for something else, I stumbled across a poem I wrote a year ago. It was inspired by a short film called “2 Seconds” that I created last year, and you can find the film summary as well as screen shots in my visuals and writing samples. (It will give you better context and understanding)

I am 20 years old as of March 28 which means I am no longer a teenager, yet I am on the edge of this in-between phase into true adulthood. This poem reflects how I feel at the moment; full of hope, love, uncertainty and the need to cling to…something more.

(Read until the end for a surprise)

The World Is Flat
By Muriel Palanca

The best part was the moment that
Line between restraint and wishful thinking
Became something like spider silk before the sun dried up the rain. A
Blurry boundary where my innocence could trespass
Between blank space and sturdy binding.
What is the wonder that keeps the stars from colliding? I never knew.
Is it the same force that made us
Real or was it just the street lamp that made everything appear hazy?
And what about love? Why does it
Make a dreamer who’s condemned to
Believe in the impossible, the improbable, the one and a better day? Who else

But a liar can see the truth most clearly and ignore it just the same?
If I could write a symphony from certainty
By mixing love notes, fragile hope and a first impression, I’d take a
Chance on double zero because I never really learned my lesson.
This is why the world is flat. I need a
Dream to be somewhere beyond the things I see.
Will you take me to the edge and pull me back? The fall was
Never kind when I reached the bottom, so it’s best if I stay right here. I’ll
Be next to you at the bus stop, waiting for something
More to surpass my expectations. Waiting for something better
Than another ordinary day. Waiting for
An answer to why we want what we can’t have. Can an
Illusion be enough to keep you warm at night?
Please tell me that I’m wrong because I’m almost never right.
Wake me from my fantasy and shake
Me from my reverie. I’ve given
Up on romantic delusions and a childish state of mind. I remain

So close to what I always wanted, but I always get left behind. And yet,
I believe there is an end to every circle. I believe I
Can almost touch the moon if I stand on my toes and stretch my fingers. And I believe to
Watch cars go by in silence with someone you love is made sweeter by holding their hand.
The world is flat because the
Sunrise isn’t possible unless someone pulls it through the sky and the
One you love is just a stranger you saw as you were passing by. The
Last thing you should know is how much I didn’t say. I know
Time can span eternities and a second is all it takes.

With umbrella in hand I’ll take my leave and with it possibilities but
You can be a part of it if you get on the bus with me.

*Read the first word of every line to reveal a secret message.

An Ode to Bunnies during KITTEN SEASON!!!

The following is dedicated to all of the bunnies in the world in honor of Easter:

An Ode to Bunnies

By Muriel Palanca

A field full of furry mounds, each swaying to the sound of my generation,
Beats caressing their velvet petal ears, listening to sparkling harmony.
Wafers gilded with satin liquid are flowing through my fingers.

Multiple heaving bosoms, soft and supple, bouncing with the motion of
Rolling grass, waves of tumbling cashmere orbs cushioning
Each other, rumbling, hungry for ice cream and confetti.

Little beaded eyes dancing with rays of sunshine,
Starlight whimsy skittledoo Hooray! Wubble balls,
Pounds of dandelions without stems, muffled squeaks
Like a tummy of blubber, my little tickle buns.

Twitchy pink noses like Morse code say, Love me because I am adorable!
Yes, you are adorable my Bunny Fantasticos. Sniffling,
So cute are you that I cannot possibly contain myself OHHHH!!!

Bubbles in a tub, floating on the surface making quiet explosions, popping,
fuzzy miracles of warmth and cotton candy.

Everything happy in the world, compressed into pocket sized
Bobbles, cuddling like a pack of fruit snacks.

Hopping and popping like a bazillion balloons with your
Skipping, padded paws, thumping on chocolate pudding.

You are soft puffy coconut baseballs making homeruns in my heart,
And you always win, because fluffer-nutter marshmallow peanut butter loot bags
Are like a never-ending party!

Cute things think alike =)

Quick Story:

I went to Petsmart the other day to get my “Kitten Fix” (I cannot have pets in college so I go to Petsmart to pet the kittens). I walked to the little windows where the kittens usually are, but the kittens were ALL GONE!

Every single window was empty.

So I went to one of the ladies working there and I asked where they all went. She said they were all moved to this super special secret room in the back…and she took me there! So I was excited because I felt like a V.I.P going into the back room where they keep all the “good stuff”.

We were making some small talk about kittens, animals and cute furry things when she said the following sentence:

“Well we don’t really have any kittens right now. I think the youngest one is 5 months old, but if you come back during kitten season-“

Me: “Wait…Hold on…There’s a KITTEN SEASON?!!”

Her: “Yes there is. We get a bunch of kittens around April and May for kitten season.”

The thought is just too cute for me to bear. At that moment, I imagined myself as Elmer Fudd rolling around in a ball pit full of kittens.

So FYI, there is a KITTEN SEASON and it is during April and May. This scrumptious morsel of information is for all of you who contribute to the billions of views of kitten videos on YouTube.